No, Really! I’m Here!

I’d like to start by apologizing to those who may have checked in once in a while looking for new entries, as, you can plainly see, they just haven’t happened.

What has happened?

Life.

So, with that being said, I thought here would be a good place to share the latest in my life, as there’s quite a bit happening. Believe me, I’m not complaining, as it’s definitely good stuff. I had said at the end of 2010 that 2011 would be my year of making things happen; I just had no idea it would all happen at once!    God is moving in positive ways indeed!

First off, our family is moving across town. An opportunity to move into a bigger house and neighborhood arose, and we jumped. So, we are currently in the process of packing and waiting to get rolling! Hopefully, this will happen very soon….

Also, after 15 years away from it, I’m proud to say I’m in a musical again! In mid-April, I will be performing the roll of Roger Sherman in PUSD’s faculty/alumni production of 1776. I am beyond excited to be able to get on stage again, and to be able to do it with such an amazing group of people, including my old high school theater teacher! If anyone in (or out for that matter) the Phoenix area is interested in seeing this, don’t hesitate to ask for more info. It will be awesome!

Perhaps the thing I’m most excited about, however, is a project I have been working on for about a year. Last year, I wrote two children’s books. I am proud to say, I have secured two very talented illustrators to add their talents to the projects! The first book, “Say It Again, Daddy,” will be going into editing and layout mode within the next month, and will hopefully be available sometime early 2012. This is a project very near and dear to me, and I promise to keep you all informed of any changes/announcements concerning this project!

 

*Deep breath*

 

So, my dear readers, that is my life right now. Busy? Yes. Would I trade a second of it? Absolutely not. I will try to post here as time allows, and thank you for taking the time to read. It means more than you know!

 

2011
03/17
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Christmas Time Is Here!

Yes, I’m one of THOSE people. The ones who make you say, “Really? Christmas already? Geez….”

You bet I am. It’s November 1st. The Christmas season has officially begun. The Christmas music has begun playing in the Barton household. I figure I’ve heard enough Ke$ha, Gaga, and Taylor Swift in the past 10 months. Christmas music will be a welcome change.

“But, don’t you get you get sick of Christmas celebrating for so long? Doesn’t it seem to lose something by the end?”

No, for me, it doesn’t. And I’m sad for those who do feel that way. I mean, too bad it couldn’t last longer. The spirit of giving, the joyous caroling, the reminder of the ultimate gift given to us by God. Shouldn’t this be celebrated more than just 1/12th of the year?

“Isn’t Thanksgiving just being pushed to the side? Are you forgetting about that?”

No, I’m not forgetting about Thanksgiving. It’s a wonderful holiday I consider part of the Christmas season. What better time to be thankful for than family and all God has blessed us with! But I don’t have a turkey tree.  And until the Lions make it worth celebrating again (Soon, I hope!) I can’t even look at football as part of that tradition.

So yes, I celebrate Christmas earlier than many. I’m one of those people who fills with joy when stores start putting up their decorations before Halloween. I don’t plan on stopping this. I plan on fully embracing it more and more each year, and passing it on to my daughter. To those who disagree with me, I understand, and that’s fine. I promise to try my best to not call you Ebeneezer or sing carols incessantly outside your window.

Nonetheless, Merry Christmas!!!!

2010
11/01
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Take Me Away – From Myself

I wanted to come up with something deep and moving to say besides just quoting the lyrics to this song – but my emotions are a jumbled mess when it pertains to how much these words mean to me. A friend of mine, Josh Miles, wrote this song, titled “Take Me Away:”

O my love, take me away
from this place
to the warmth of your embrace
don’t leave me the same

O my Lord, take me from here
make pride disappear
it’s held on for all these years
Lord break the chains

O my soul, rise up and wake
it’s a new day
the old has passed away
and I won’t be the same (no I won’t)

You would think by now I would know
that things will come and things will go
but you will never leave
You would think that I would know by now
to not ask the why’s when where’s or how’s
but just simply to believe
you have freed me from the tyranny within
and I long for the chance to start again

So take these notions of self-destruction
and them away
or take me away from them
and leave me to be here with you
Lord I don’t care how you do it
just take me away from here

Basically, it comes down to this for me: I pray to the Lord to be taken away from the weariness; however I can’t help but wonder if my outlook and attitude are huge contributors to said weariness. That being said, God, take me away – from myself.

P.S.: For anyone interested, Josh’s AMAZING EP can be found and purchased on iTunes here:

http://tinyurl.com/3xnn2th

Cannot say how highly I recommend this one.

2010
10/04
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On Prayer

My little girl has been getting more and more interested in prayer; lately she’s been asking Steph and I to say our prayers so she can listen. We were talking the other day, and Steph said she told Caitlin she could tell God anything she wanted to. ANYTHING.

It makes me wonder, as adults, while many of us say we believe this, how many of us actually follow through? How many of us tell God ANYTHING we want to? Do we speak our mind to God? Open up? Do we say only what we think He wants to hear? Do we ignore aspects of our lives or our struggles, hoping He doesn’t see. Bad news if we do that – Him being omniscient and all.

That being said, maybe it’s time I really start being true. So here’s my “Anything” prayer to God:

Dear God,

I know I don’t talk to You near as much as I should. Yet, I’m not here to make excuses – what good would it do anyway? You know better.

Yet, here I am now.

I find myself wondering why I don’t talk to You more. Is it anger? I do get angry at you. I don’t understand You; why is it I sense You less when I need you most? And for that matter, must everything have to be a surprise? Can’t I even have a little peek at Your plans for my life? After thirty-five years, one would think I should have a clue… Yet…. It’s just not there.

…But I never doubt You’re there, God. It’s something I never question; it’s just something I know to be true.

I just wish…. Never mind. You get it, It’s hard to explain, but I know You know.

So I ask instead for personal clarity. I ask that You help me remember the good and not dwell on the bad. Help me be the dad and husband I need to be. I know I’ve had some royal screw ups, and ask for forgiveness from you as I seek forgiveness from others. Help me to forgive where I need to – there’s a lot of pent up anger inside me….

…winning the lottery – that would be nice too if You could work it in.

Amen.

2010
04/22
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Know Your Priorites

I woke up early this morning to get to work and get some stuff done before others got there. Unfortunately, the best laid plans….

At 3:50 Caitlin’s door flew open – “Daddy… Daaaaaaddy…..”

I go into her room, “Sweetheart, it’s too early for you to be up, you need to lay down. Daddy will sit by you and hold your hand for a few minutes.”

A few minutes pass, and she’s dozing. I get up to finish getting ready and brush my teeth. When I emerge from the bathroom, she’s lying in bed with her mommy, crying.

“What’s wrong?”

“She says you were supposed to be laying down by her crib,” says Steph.

“Honey, daddy has to get ready for work…”

“I don’t want you to go.. You’re to tired to go to work.”

“That may be true, honey, but Daddy has to go to work.”

“No..stay here, sleep next to me?”

“Honey, Daddy would like to, but I can’t. I have to go to work to make money so we’ll have some for our Disneyland trip.”

“Let me get you some food to take to work, Daddy.”

At least the kiddo has her priorities straight.

Ready to Ride Peter Pan

2010
03/12
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Not Feeling The Love

John 3:16-17

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”

It’s the passage that most people who claim to be Christian can drop at the touch of a hat. Yet, it seems to me one of the hardest passages we have trouble believing, or at least adhering to.

Don’t believe me? Well, insert the name of someone you don’t care for place of “the world.” Be it your next door neighbor, the guy who cut you off in traffic, your ex, Barack Obama, Sarah Palin….doesn’t matter. So… and I include myself in this, I’m way too guilty of it…. if God loved THE WORLD, and commanded us to love one another, why aren’t we showing it more? Why do we spend our time thankful that God loves us, but not extending the same grace to others?

I see it in groups on Facebook:

“Sarah Palin is a Dumba** and Should Never Run This Country.”

“Barack Obama Sucks!!!”

“I hate Steve Nash.”

…to name a few.

I see it on picketing signs of supposed Christians. “God hates f*gs.” Seems to be we can pick and choose our beliefs from the Bible but not adhere to the whole thing nowadays.

I’m not innocent on this one. I’m just as guilty of it as the next person. However, I have become more conscious of it recently. And I really have to think… If God died for a nobody like me, because he loved not just me, but THE WORLD, than perhaps I need to make a little more of an effort to spread that same love as well.

2010
03/10
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On NOT Blogging

No new post in over a week. In the past, I’d get discouraged by that. I’d either get down on myself for not being “disciplined” enough to blog, or wonder where my creativity had gone. I was trying too hard.

One of the things I’ve started with this blog is to not be too hard on myself if a little bit of time slips by between posts. It’s not the end of the world, and as I’ve said before, I’m not writing to win approval from anyone else. I’m writing for myself, as a release, if you will.

So what’s my excuse this time?

It’s not for a lack of something to say, as much as it has been a matter of enjoying life away from a blog.

Not concerning myself with clever words… Just concerning myself with the moment I’m in – what did that great philosopher F. Bueller once say? “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a little while, you’re gonna miss it.”

Looking around, it’s a pretty awesome life – spending time with family, my beautiful wife, my little girl. Going to a park and playing on the playground….

Spending time reading, talking, praying. Going out to dinner with my family, only to come home and see a beautiful double rainbow while playing in the rain….

Yeah, there’s something to be said for not blogging sometimes.

2010
02/05
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Sometimes The Music Just Hits You….

Today, there’s nothing I can say that’s not being said in this song. So here it is:

Traffic crawls, cell phone calls.
Talk radio screams at me…
Through my tinted window I see
A little girl, rust red minivan
She’s got chocolate on her face
Got little hands, And she waves at me
Ya, She smiles at me

Hello World
How’ve you been
Good to see you, my old friend
Sometimes I feel, cold as steel
Broken like I’m never gonna heal
I see a light, a little hope
In the little girl
Hello world

Every day I drive by
A little white church
It’s got these little white crosses
Like angels in the yard
Maybe I should stop on in
Say a prayer
Maybe talk to God
Like he is there
Oh I know he’s there
Ya, I know he’s there

Hello world
How’ve you been
Good to see you my old friend
Sometimes I feel as cold as steel
And broken like I’m never gonna heal
I see a light, a little grace, little faith unfurled.
Hello world

Sometimes I forget what living’s for
And I hear my life through my front door
And I’ll be there
Oh I’m home again
I see my wife, little boy, little girl
Hello world
Hello world

All the empty disappears
I remember why I’m here
To surrender and Believe
I fall down on my knees
Oh hello world
Hello world
Hello world

2010
01/28
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Living In The Past

“You can get just so much from a good thing
You can linger too long in your dreams
Say goodbye to the “Oldies But Goodies”
‘Cause the good ole days weren’t always good
And tomorrow ain’t as bad as it seems…” – Billy Joel, “Keeping the Faith”

I’ll be the first to admit, I think I do linger too long in my dreams….

I often think about the past, remembering the “good times,” part of me wishing to go back and relive them.

I was listening to the above mentioned song the other day, and although I’ve listened to it countless times, the lyrics really struck a nerve in me.

Let’s see, good times…well, although I do have some fond memories of high school, I remember having a fragile self esteem, afraid to really be myself because I was afraid of what others thought. I remember being in a high school relationship for two years, and not really wanting to do much outside of that. I remember not acting on things and speaking my mind.

I’m not saying there weren’t good times. There really are some fond memories, mainly of musicals and choir activities, as well as some wonderful people that I regret having lost touch with.

But it’s the things I didn’t do that I find myself dwelling on more. My senior year, one of our choir members sang “My Way” at our final concert. At the time, I remember thinking, “Wow, that’s kind of an egotistical song to sing.” Now, in my “old age,” I really get it. That’s how I should have lived my life back then, with regrets too few to mention.

And that is where the song lyrics from “Keeping the Faith” really come into play. The good old days weren’t always good. But what I keep replaying in my head is the “should’ves.” How I could have made them better, knowing what I know now.

And here’s the burning question: Why am I not applying what I know now to NOW?!?!?

If I live my life being me, not afraid to speak my mind, be the outgoing person that I know I can be, get back in touch with those long lost friends, then perhaps I can stop living in the past, and tomorrow won’t be as bad as it seems…


2010
01/26
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A True Friend?

I really don’t use the term friend loosely. I hold those that are my friends near and dear to my heart; they are my family, and I would do almost anything for them.

Today, however, I got a gut punch on how good of a friend I can be sometimes, or more to the point, not be.

A friend of mine posted something on Facebook today, and not having chatted with her in a long time, I visited her profile, just to see what she’d been up to lately. I noticed on her info she had a blog up, which I had really never read. So, I go over to read it…and man. She has been going through some problems.I truly do care about this person, and feel horrible that I might not have been there when she needed a friend.

Now I feel the need and want to reach out to her, to let her know I’m there if she needs to talk, but I wonder. Did I miss my opportunity? That it has taken me this long to know anything was going on? Would she trust me having not been there before?Maybe the occasional “Hi, how are you? Hadn’t talked to you in a while,” may have brought up some much needed conversation.

I really begin to wonder now, about others that I haven’t talked to in a while due to being wrapped up in my own little world, and even how others view their friends as well. Do you take the time to just say “hi,” or do you say, “I don’t really have the time right now, maybe when I’m not busy I’ll call him or her.”?

Not trying to put anyone on the spot here, just sharing what I’m feeling myself, and wondering if others feel the same way. If you do, don’t hesitate to say hi to someone you haven’t in a while; pick up the phone, send a quick note, email, or Facebook comment.

I’m thinking a lot of you that read this may be hearing from me very soon.

2010
01/21
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